I know.  I KNOW!  I'm sorry I've been hiding.  I do that sometimes.  Why am I posting now?  Dunno, just was poking around and felt like it.  So you probably want to know what I've been up to.  Not that anyone reads this...

Lessee... Work's been pretty much mostly crazy since summer.  A month maybe of some slow, downtime, but it's been mostly crazy.  I'm now the most senior developer on the team, which puts me in the lovely position of being the 'go-to' person whenever anyone has a question about the site.  Which means I can't get my own work done because every 10 minutes, someone is coming over with a question or crisis.  But I'm enjoying it still, and I suppose that's what counts.

I'm still with Greg and still happy.  He spent Christmas and New Year's here.  

The old man has a girl now, and she's wonderful.  I'll hurt him very much if he does something to screw it up :)

And I recently joined Lifetime Fitness.  So I might actually get myself in shape, finally.

The kitten says hello to you all.  I'm gonna go back into hiding now.

Ta!

Why yes, it's another recipe.

Why yes, it's another "What's in the kitchen that might possibly go together" recipe.

Try it. I dare ya. 

Hardware
4-quart stainless pot (with cover)
Stick blender
Medium bowl

Software 
1 stick (4 oz) unsalted butter
1 lb cubed butternut squash
2 tsp allspice
1 Tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp dried chives
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
28 oz skim milk
2 heaping tsp cocoa powder
1 Tbsp vanilla extract

Melt butter in pot over medium heat.  Add squash, allspice, cinnamon, and chives.  Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, for 20 minutes or until squash begins to soften.

In medium bowl, combine the sweetened condensed milk, skim milk, cocoa powder, and vanilla extract.  Use the stick blender to thoroughly mix and add body - this will be slightly thick when fully combined and should have a thin layer of foam on top.

Slowly pour the milk mixture into the pot, stirring.  Continue to cook uncovered, stirring often, over medium heat until a slow boil is obtained and squash can be smushed with the back of a spoon.

Remove from heat.  Use stick blender to mash the squash until the consistency is smooth and creamy.  Continue to blend until desired thickness is obtained.

Pour into bowls and serve.  This is a thick, heavy bisque, so a little goes a long way.

Enjoy!

So I'm insane.

You knew that.

I took out some haddock to thaw for dinner tonight, got home, and went "huh, now what am i gonna do with that". And I started looking around the kitchen. What follows is an adventure in cooking, requiring feats of bravery, and a completely open mind. An empty stomach doesn't hurt either.

Tea-Poached Haddock

1 cup brewed tea (sun tea in this case)
1 cup skim milk (because it's watery-er... yeah...)
1 cup water
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 Tbsp ground sea salt
1 Tbsp fresh ground pepper (tellicherry & lemon pepper if you have it)
a pinch of thyme
1 Tbsp butter
a couple drizzles of olive oil
haddock filets

In a covered chef pan (saute pan), combine the tea, milk, butter, oil and spices and turn on to medium heat, stirring occasionally until the butter has melted. Place the haddock filets in, and add in the water just until the filets are nearly but not completely covered (use more if you have to). Cover and let simmer until the fish is cooked through and flaky.

Spaghetti with Tea-Cheese sauce
Package spaghetti
1 cup milk
1 oz each crumbled muenster and shredded mozzarella cheeses
2 tsp italian seasoning
1/4 cup of liquid from Tea-Poached Haddock (after it's finished cooking)
Cook spaghetti according to package directions...

In a small sauce pan, heat up the milk over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally. Add the italian seasoning. Crumble the muenster and add, stirring constantly until the cheese begins to melt. Add the mozzarella and stir until the mixture has thoroughly warmed. At this point, the cheeses will coagulate together and separate from the milk - it's ok, I'm calling them cheese dumplings. They're good. Once the haddock is done, add the poaching liquid to the cheesy-flavored milk sauce, and stir to combine.

Microwave Peas
1 can peas ( i'm a cheater! )

Open the can. Pour the peas into a microwave safe bowl, cover and nuke for 3 minutes.

Bringing it all together...

Drain the spaghetti and place it on a plate. Place the haddock on top, and spoon the Tea-Cheese sauce on top. Place some cheese-dumpling on the plate. Place a healthy spoonful of peas on and make it pretty.

Enjoy!

I bought a condo! Buy me stuff for it ...

It's amazing how you can be surrounded by friends and yet still feel completely alone. And you're left to wonder, what's the point? Who cares? Does anyone care? And you know that they do, but you still feel completely left out and completely alone. And then you begin to resent them. It's a completely unrational thing, but there it is. Daily life ends up becoming so routine that you just feel soulless, lifeless. Going through the motions, getting by each day simply from the momentum of life. Time marches onward, and it drags you in its wake. And then something new pops up that for a moment jolts you out of your daily grind and disrupts the routine, either in a good way or a bad way, but for the time being you find it good because it's different. But time still marches forward and eventually the rough wake settles back into the steady pace of before, just with the new stuff incorporated in. And you begin to resent the new stuff, too.

A wise man once said "Fear is the path to the dark side." There's a corollary though. Fear is not the only thing that leads to the dark side. Time is, too. Because time leads to resentment. And resentment leads to hate. You know the rest. I'm trying not to let it get past the resentment stage. But it's hard when you're alone, especially when you're surrounded by people you care about and who care about you.